You host a radio show anywhere in the world, I’m so sorry for what’s about to happen to you. I’m giving you fair warning that I am finally committing to one of my favourite ideas.

Just for the fun of it, I have decided I want to be on as many radio shows as possible. There’s a show in the USA called ‘Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me’ which is basically a news quiz in which listeners call in to answer questions about that week’s news.

Well, I phoned in, diligently went through their answering system and listened to the show’s host Peter Sagal talk me through the process of leaving them a message and assuring me that someone from the team would call me back.

Then I waited...and waited...and waited.

What Peter and his pals don’t know is that I will not be denied. I don’t have any agenda to push, I just want two things.

Firstly, I want to get on as many radio shows as possible. I don’t much care about the topic. I’ll phone in for competitions, talking points, anything.

Secondly, while I’m on those shows, I aim to waste as much time as possible and be as ridiculous as I possibly can be.

Why? Well, why not? As I’m always saying, it’s worth doing something to make your mark. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just something you’ll enjoy.

Of course, that mantra does come with conditions, such as please don’t skin and eat other humans.

Something that amuses you can’t hurt anyone else – physically, at least. And emotions heal over time, so I’m told.

That doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven my high school girlfriend Jacqueline yet, however. Damn it, I loved that girl.

Anyway, moving on (just like Jacqueline did), I would advise you to listen out to discover which shows I do pop up on.

I should also declare that I do have a few axes to grind, so perhaps I’ll call in to a few stations where there are people who have done the dirty on me in the past – and that you do NOT want to miss.

You can find my show on Facebook at facebook.com/petgreshow and on Twitter @PetGreShow.

Listen again on Mixcloud at mixcloud.com/petgreshow and search YouTube for Peter Greenwood Show.