“Love is not breathlessness, love is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.”

This is a small snippet from a passage in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, by Louis de Bernières – and it pretty much sums up why Valentine’s Day is not for me, writes Steph Brawn.

I don’t have any issue with people buying cuddly toys, putting chocolates and roses on the bed and paying a sneaky trip to Ann Summers one day a year.

But, for me, this is not what love is about.

This will be the sixth Valentine’s Day my partner Iain and I have spent together and, over the years, we have bought presents for each other.

I even received a bunch of red roses at my door from him one year.

However, it has got to the point now where I can guarantee you all we will be doing is having a nice meal in, playing FIFA or watching telly and enjoying a wee dram of whisky, all while we talk and laugh about life with each other, as we do most nights of the week.

Just because we will not be buying into the February 14 hype does not mean that love is not there.

It is there – it’s just not covered in petals and champagne, because it doesn’t need to be.

For me, love is about being with someone you can laugh with, talk with without feeling judged, sit with without feeling you have to constantly chat and cuddle and, more than anything, someone you can be at peace with.

Love is also something that cannot and should not be forced – and Valentine’s Day always has that air of pressure surrounding it.

My advice to anyone who is on edge about today would be this...if you wake up genuinely wanting to buy gifts, write poetry and cook a romantic dinner for your partner, go ahead.

If this feels natural, it is absolutely what you should do.

But if you find yourself saying ‘I better go and buy a card’ or ‘I guess I should do something for Valentine’s Day because otherwise I’ll look bad’, just stop for a second and think ‘Is this really the way I want to show my love for my partner?’

If you are alone today, find someone to hang out with who you feel comfortable with. Of course, if you feel most at home on your own, so be it. Be at ease and know that love with another will come to you naturally, not via flowers or a card.

Don’t get yourself wound up over a socially-constructed day which professes to be about love because it is, ultimately, a lie.